Oh Lord!

And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

Colossians 1:17

It’s the morning of the “event” as I’ve been referring to it.

The day of the Christian Literary Awards announcements. Both for their Henri Award and the Fan Favorite in each category.

People have been asking me if I’m excited. And I don’t know if that is a word to adequately describe the feelings of an introvert who anticipates red carpet treatment along with a photo-op and interview to be shared on Facebook Live.

Then there’s the perfectionist in me, the one who never feels enough, facing the prospect of winning or losing, not once, but twice in the category of Devotional – Moments with God.

Is excitement a proper emotion to feel? It’s been a struggle to prepare. Part of the instructions to the nominees is to have words prepared… an acceptance speech (not more than one minute, mind you)… for the possibility of winning the Henri and/or the Fan Favorite. I sat this morning and tried to write. Asked God for words to prepare, but the page still sits blank.

So I ponder my inner-self, my crazy little heart where many things stir of late, and in the grand scheme of things the looming “event” is really a pretty minor blip on the screen. It just adds to the noise of emotions already clamoring in my heart.

It was just two weeks ago, I finally felt pressed to seek out something to wear for this red carpet event, because my closet is sorely lacking in formal wear and high heels.

Here’s a selfie I sent to my friend for approval. A sneak peek into my craziness.

I consider mixed emotions and the One who led me to this place, because when I set out to seek Him, I didn’t set out to write a book, or enter it for an award, or do an online radio interview, or be nominated, or be having to write acceptance speeches which may never be read, and I smile.

I thank Him for His crazy love that leads His followers on crazy journeys. And I remember the pains of childbirth the whole of creation is experiencing in this moment as we wait for Him to make all things new!

For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

Romans 8:22-23

So I reflect on the angst… the moments of doubt… conflict within… pain… and I’m reminded not all pain is bad. Some of it, well in Him really ALL of it, leads to something new. Something good.

Grateful that in the labor pains of His love, He is holding all things together, and making all things new.

Amen and Amen.

Where are you feeling the pains of laboring for something new?

Begin to embrace them as good!

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Revelation 21:5

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